


Determination in the Face of Fear

by EradiKate



Series: Watchful Eyes [3]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 15:18:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15488781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EradiKate/pseuds/EradiKate
Summary: Cullen still hates Halamshiral.  Spoilers for Trespasser.





	Determination in the Face of Fear

Cullen is no stranger to pain.  As a child, it came from simple things like a fall while playing or a scuffle with one of his siblings.  In his teenage years, templar training meant bruises and sore muscles. Later, he came to know the blinding sear of magic, the throb of a dagger wound, and the ache of facing down demons.  And finally, the worst pain he thought possible: lyrium withdrawal.

 

Looking back at it, he thinks he’s been lucky.  He bears the scars of all of it and the nightmares plague him yet, but what is happening to Katrin terrifies him.  What’s worse, he cannot ease her pain. Her mark, the Anchor that ties her to the rifts, is slowly killing her and no magic of this world can stop it.

 

Yet here they are, once again at Halamshiral, once again facing an unseen foe.  She has grown quieter. The laughing young woman he fell in love with has given way to a somber leader, but even that mantle cannot hide her agony.

 

There are moments when he glimpses the old Katrin.  When she embraces their friends, the smile that charmed him shines through.  When she accepts his proposal, it is with the joy he saw in her at Josephine’s wedding to Blackwall.  And when she promises before the Maker to love him the rest of her days, there is no trace of struggle in her face.

 

In the talks, she sits erect and proud.  Only someone watching her as closely as Cullen does would see the clouds of pain that come and go.  How she bears it with bravery is beyond his knowing. Most men, he thinks, would have crumbled months ago.  He might have, once, were it not for her support.

 

When she turns white, though, Josephine notices.  Ever the ambassador, she suggests retiring for the day and smoothly turns the talk to the evening’s entertainment.

 

Cullen offers Katrin his arm, which she accepts gratefully.  She’s still standing, but from the tremble in her hand he’s not sure how long that will last.  “Leliana,” she says, her voice low, “please be so kind as to fetch Bull, Sera, and Vivienne.”

 

“You cannot possibly mean to go through that eluvian,” he hisses.  The set of her jaw tells him that she does, and will, no matter what anyone says.  Cullen knows better than to argue.

 

Once they are in the relative safety of their parlor, Leliana and Josephine both voice their opposition.  Katrin hears them, but only just. All frustrations mounting, the tension in the room finally breaks when she cries out.

 

She’s clutching her hand, and Cullen swears there are tears in her eyes before she squeezes them shut.  He’s at her side instantly. As he helps her down onto the couch, he glares daggers at the two other advisors.  Before he can reprimand them, though, Katrin lashes out in anger.

 

“Shit!  Damn it!  We save Ferelden, and they’re angry.  We save Orlais, and they’re angry! We close the Breach,  _ twice, _ and my own hand wants to kill me!  Could one thing in this fucking world just stay fixed?”  Her voice catches, and she shakes her head angrily. “I need to get to the Darvaraad.  You all can fight amongst yourselves once I’m…”

 

Cullen flinches, sure that he isn’t going to like what she says next.

 

“Once I’m back,” she finishes weakly, the rage vanishing as quickly as it appeared.  Cullen wraps her in his arms, mutely offering her all the support he has. 

 

“Thank you, Inquisitor.”  Leliana sounds chastened, but he does not bother to look back.  Though he prays for Katrin’s safe return, he will not waste a moment with her.  He knows that any reprieve is temporary. Now more than ever, he fears that every time he says goodbye, it will be the last.


End file.
